Brad, your struggle is the struggle of all blessed...

2008-05-23T09:43:00.000-04:00

Brad, your struggle is the struggle of all blessedly privileged families. Responding to it, teaching our kids how to enjoy the blessings of comfort all the while maintaining their humility and compassion for others, is tough.

Here are two things we did when my family was young: (1) we designated one closet in the family room as the toy closet. When it got filled up (stuffed, stocked, jammed), that was the signal that we could buy or get no more toys. Each child would then go through the closet and choose a toy or game to give away (caveat: they could only choose to give away one of their games, not a game that belonged to a sibling! ). We would then find appropriate charities to give them to. More room, more toys. No room, no toys. And no off-site storage units!

(2) Birthday parties presented unique problems for two reasons: I too could not find the way to regulate the amount of gifts and we often got duplicates. The no-room-no-toys rule kicked in right after the last guest left. And we added the no-duplicate-toy rule. So the children would select what toys they wanted to clear out of the closet to make room for their new gifts, and they would give away the duplicate presents.

We would then take them to the local women's shelter and give them to the children there. Sometimes the toys were for the children's room and stayed at the shelter (at least until the pieces were lost!). And sometimes they became the personal possessions of the children themselves.

Years later, the toys that had the greatest impact on my family were the ones that were given away.

Let me know as you find your own solutions and balance to this blessing of abundance.

I find myself struggling with the same issues as y...

2008-05-16T15:07:00.000-04:00

I find myself struggling with the same issues as you, even though I am in a different stage of my life. As a young parent, with a toddler and a 3-year-old, I am overwhelmed by all the toys which now pile up in my house.

I used to imagine myself having discipline, and telling people, "no thank you, please don't give us that 500-piece toyset." But the realities (and politics) of family life are much more complicated.

If you ask me whether my family needs a lot of "stuff" to survive, I'd tell you know. But if you looked at what we have piled up around the house -- stuffed animals, plastic dinosaurs, bats and balls -- you'd think we were running a thrift store.

It is a constant struggle to pare down one's life to the essentials.

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Brad, your struggle is the struggle of all blessed...

I find myself struggling with the same issues as y...